


your gravity's making me dizzy

by sugarquillstory



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, LET HIM HAVE FRIENDS YOU COWARDS, M/M, Multi, ben solo is an idiot and i love him, but with more drama of course, i already know that rating's going to go up, i don't get invited to parties so i don't know what i'm doing, my time at college has been lacking severely, so i'm giving my kids my ideal experience, waring: lots of college nonsense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23404555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarquillstory/pseuds/sugarquillstory
Summary: Ben's pretty sure the girl that lives across the quad is an alien; a real live, actual alien from outer space. She only opens her window when it's raining, he's never seen her actuallyeatand she only seems to drink coffee, and God, she's way too pretty to possibly be human.Or maybe he's just exhausted and his roommates need to stop binging the X-Files.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, kaydel ko connix/every woman ever
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	your gravity's making me dizzy

August has come way too soon for its own good.

It wasn't that he wasn't ready to go back to school; god no, he had been ready since even before moving out of the dorms at the end of spring. He was grateful for the break from eight AM classes, from dining hall food and from the librarian that he swore was out to get him for bringing in food that one time to study for midterms his first semester. He had been a freshman, and he'd eaten lunch in the library in high school plenty of times. How was he supposed to know that a college library was different?

(Okay, so maybe he had ignored the "No Food or Drink Allowed" sign posted at the door, but libraries didn't actually enforce that rule, right? It was just something they had to do, like the signs in the waiting room at the doctor's that said to stay off of your phone.)

Ben's alarm rings loudly at four thirty in the morning, the sun not even up yet and he scrambles to shut it off. He hadn't slept well that night, too eager to get up and get going and get back to school. The exhaustion weighs heavy in his body as he struggles on deciding if getting the first choice of rooms is worth missing out on the extra twenty minutes or so of sleep he so desperately craves. But he still has to finish packing the car, and decide between the clothes left in his closet as to which ones are comfortable enough to travel in. Takodana University's a good three and a half hours away from his hometown of Alderaan and he had been insistent all summer that he'd be able to drive it by himself this time. The last two years - four entire semesters - his parents had taken the day off (as much as they could) to drive him, taking two cars so he'd have his car on campus and they'd be able to get back home. Of course, driving with his dad had just been a series of long periods of silence between Han Solo's attempts to give good fatherly advice, while his mother spent a good ninety-five percent of the drive on the phone with senators and the press for her job and the other five percent telling him how scruffy he looked, making him promise to go get a haircut once classes started. He never did; he liked the way it looked long, how it covered his ears that he felt were too big for their own good. He used the money she gives him for it on pizza and coffee and energy drinks instead. A little rebellion could be a good thing sometimes, right?

He's not sure which ride he prefers, because they're both awkward and he'd rather just be by himself at this point, listening to his music as he coasts down the highway.

It had been a fight with his parents all summer, neither of them (okay, mostly his mother) understanding why he would want to leave by himself so early in the morning and not see them again until Thanksgiving. Possibly Christmas. But he was adamant. He was a Junior now, after all. He could handle driving a few hours alone. He remembered the particular look on his mother's face a few weeks ago, the last time they had had this conversation, when she asked him who was going to help him move his things in.

"They have big boxes on wheels to move stuff," he'd groaned in frustration. "We used one last year! I can handle putting my stuff in a box to get from the car to the room."

"That's the hardest job, you know," his father butted in, the sarcasm in his voice effortless and hard-wired after years of perfecting the art of it. He didn't even bother looking up from the paper he was reading at the table. "You can't run over the Freshmen or hit any of the walls."

She'd relented, but only if he'd call once he was on campus to let them know he'd gotten there safe.

Ben let out a quiet grunt as he sat up, rubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands. He shouldn't have stayed up so late last night (or would it be this morning?) looking at his gps app, tracing the route from his house to school until he'd fallen asleep with his phone in his hand. It wasn't as if he hadn't gone over the directions for his school enough times in the past few weeks to have them memorized. He just sat there for a moment, trying to decide if he's actually enjoying the peace of just existing in the early hours of morning or if he's just exhausted. (It's definitely the exhaustion, because "Ben Solo enjoying existing" is a sentence that would make his friends burst into laughter if they ever heard it.) Tomorrow morning he'd wake up in the dorms, in a place where he actually felt okay with being himself with people he actually liked. That enough is enough of a thought to make him push the navy blue comforter away from himself and he swung his long legs over the side of the bed, feet hitting the wooden floor and he shivers at the chill. His parents have never minded having a cold house; before getting married they had spent a few years up north living in a little town in the middle of nowhere called Hoth, and he had heard plenty of stories over the years about how they had made it through the brutal winters together.

As he makes his way across the room to his closet, he peels off the faded gray tee. It's one of his dad's old ones, accidentally brought up with his clothes in the laundry roughly a hundred washes ago and he just hadn't bothered giving it back. It wasn't as if Han kept tabs on where his clothes went, seeing as he pretty much wore the same three outfits on rotation like a god damn cartoon character. Ben tosses it into the plastic hamper sitting in the corner, knowing full well that anything in there will be washed by the next time he's here. It wasn't that he couldn't do his own laundry; his mom just did everything to keep the house in order (her words, not anyone else's), even if he wasn't there. He slides open his mirrored closet door and pushes all of the remaining clothes to the right before he starts to flip through them, pushing the hangers to his left until he settles on an old black sweater and a fitted pair of black jeans.

What can he say? He knows what his color is, and he works with it.

He's still tired as he pulls the pants on, one leg after the other, before taking the sweater off the hanger and tugging it over his head. He catches sight of himself in one of the mirrored doors to his admittedly large closet, and frowns when he realizes that there's a noticeable hole in the sweater right between his ribcage and his stomach. He looks down and pulls at the sweater as if to double check that his mind's not playing tricks on him. But sure enough, there it is, his pale skin peeking out vividly through the not-quite-fist-sized hole in the black fabric. Well that certainly puts a damper on things; this is one of his favorite pieces of clothes that he owns, and there's no time to ask his mother to sew it up for him before he gets on the road.

(He can do his own laundry and clean up after himself just fine, he's not a helpless child, but sewing? He's absolutely useless at it and ends up pricking himself in the finger more than actually getting anything done, so he lets her handle that much without fussing that he can do it himself.)

With a sigh, he turns back to the clothes left hanging up and begins to go through them again, unsatisfied with what choices he has. The rest of his clothes were packed in his car last night, and he doesn't exactly have the time or patience to unpack it all, go through them for one shirt, and then repack it all into the car again. So instead, he goes back a couple of hangers until he lands on a plain white tee, tugging his sweater off - careful not to make the hole any bigger than it already is - and pulling the tee shirt on instead. He then puts the sweater on over top and glances back at himself in the mirror. The hole's obviously still there, but at least he doesn't see his skin now, so it's decidedly better.

He's headed over to the other side of the room where his dresser is, digging in the top drawer for a decent pair of socks when there's a knock at the door. There's no hesitation between the knock and the door handle turning, and before he even has a chance to turn around, his mother's poking her head in through the now open door. Leia Organa is not a tall woman by any means; she's barely over five feet, but that makes her no less terrifying when she's in the right mindset. Or, honestly, even when she's not in the right mindset; she is not a woman to be messed with, and growing up with parents in politics, only for she herself to carry on the tradition by throwing her hat into the ring, has only solidified that fact. Not only to her friends and family but to the general public. Senator Organa is a ruthless political foe who has always been full of radical, game-changing ideas, and she's able to silence a room full of men who would otherwise talk down to her with just a steely, no-nonsense look.

Presently, though, Ben is not one of those men - he knows better. To face off against Leia Organa, especially so early in the morning, would be a death wish. So instead of one of her podium looks she gives to crowds and most of the men in her life, he gets one of her smiles.

"I thought I heard your alarm," she says, and she shifts her weight to lean up against the open door with her hand still on the handle. Ben crosses the room to sit back down on his bed, uncurling the ball his socks have been tucked into so he can put them on.

"I need to pack a few more things in the car," he explains, doing his best to not sound as tired as he really feels so he can avoid that entire conversation again. "And I want first pick of the rooms, so I need to get there before Hux and Poe do." The three had formed a bond over the years, agreeing to room with each other. They had been lucky enough to snag one of the coveted suite-style dorms this year, meaning they'd each get their own room and could have at least some kind of privacy; they still had to share a bathroom between the three of them, but hey, nothing was perfect. Leia makes a face, but it only lasts for a moment before she nods.

"Your dad's getting up. Want him to make you some eggs or something before you leave?"

Ben smiles at his mother as he stands, the socks helping somewhat eliminate the chill the floor had given him earlier. He's over a foot taller than her, and sometimes he wonders just how he came from her when he literally towers over her. It's hard for him to believe he had ever been small enough for her to hold, not when he's been so tall and awkward and too big for his own good for as long as he can remember.

"Nah, I'm just going to stop at the gas station before I really get on the highway."

He reaches over and unplugs his phone, and she steps into the room finally, moving to stand beside him as he bends down to unplug his charger from its port in the wall. She hides her distaste for his answer by pulling up his comforter and sheets to quickly remake his bed, giving his pillow a good fluff as she sets it upright against his headboard again. He pretends not to watch her by checking the time on his phone.

"Okay," she finally sighs, patting him on the arm gently before her gaze latches onto the hole in his sweater. "Ben Solo, you are not wearing that to school." Suddenly he feels like he's eight again, with his mother dictating every move he makes, and he sighs and shoos her off of him.

"It's just a hole, I'll get it fixed later."

"Ben-"

"It's fine, mom, really. I don't have the time." For a moment she looks like she's about to protest further, giving him that look that means he's surely in some kind of trouble, but instead she just lets out a sigh. He starts wrapping the charging cord around his hand, trying to make sure it won't become a tangled mess between now and when he needs it in the car.

"You and your father are both so stubborn, it's a miracle that I can stand either of you." He smiles and lets out a laugh, bending down and quickly kissing his mom on the top of her head.

"You're one of the few, and I'm grateful," he responds, shoving the now-folded charging cable into one of his deep front pockets. She seems content enough with the kiss and his words, and she smiles tiredly. It's her most natural form he's seen her in in awhile; like mother, like son, he guesses. But he knows better than to comment on it, because truth be told she's just as stubborn as both him and his father, and doing so would only put her in denial. It's a miracle none of them had killed each other yet.

Sure that she's letting it go for now, he moves out of his bedroom and to the bathroom down the hall, leaving the door open so she can continue talking to him if she really wants to. He grabs his toothbrush sitting in its designated cup and opens the cabinet tucked into the mirror, hardly having to look as he grabs the tube of cinnamon toothpaste from its spot between old prescription bottles and the half-used pack of q-tips. He wets his toothbrush and then squeezes some toothpaste on it, wetting it again before brushing his teeth. His mother comes and stands in the doorway, just quietly watching him, and he glances at her in the mirror curiously as he works.

"When did you get so big and grown up?" she sighs, and he quirks a smile at her reflection. Leave it to Leia Organa to remain put together and composed, only to get sentimental at the last minute when it's just them. The old grandfather clock at the end of the hall ticks softly through his musing, reminding him that he's on a schedule, and he bends down to spit into the sink and rinse.

"Around the same time dad got old and crotchety," he jokes as he stands up to full height and wipes a few drops of water away from his mouth with the back of his hand, grinning once it earns a scoff and a quick eye-roll from her. She opens her mouth to say something until the very person they're speaking of pops up into his field of vision.

"I'm only old and crotchety because your bullshit growing up aged me by fifty years," Han suddenly comments as he also stands in the open doorway, giving his son a look that would be scolding if it weren't for the amused gleam in his brown eyes. He's a foot taller than his wife but still only a few inches shorter than his son, his hair now gray and his face a couple of days unshaven. He's still every bit the man Ben followed after as a child, even if their relationship wasn't as caring as it was when he was still a child. Now Ben was grown, an actual adult, and Han Solo seemed to have no idea how to talk to him anymore. He still loved him, and he knew that his father loved him back, it was just awkward in this period between being a teenager that was angry at the world and being a mostly-adjusted adult that still couldn't drink. Honestly, the day he turned twenty-one and was able to go out and grab a beer with Han - not just have one during late summer nights out by the fire pit when it was just the two of them sitting in silence - their relationship would get more or less back to what it once was.

Ben lets out a laugh at his dad's comment and turns around, leaning lazily back up against the bathroom counter, his hands gripping the edge. His long fingers curl around it, his fingertips brushing against the rough underside. It's a grounding routine he's done before, one his therapist had walked him through. He and Doctor Threepio had a routine at this point; he'd been going to see him for long enough now that it was hard not to. They had spent most of their sessions this summer talking about prospective law schools and Ben's hopes and dreams for the future and making sure his meds were still working properly (they were, but Ben still had him on speed dial for a reason).

"Yeah, like you didn't get into enough trouble yourself when you were my age," he shoots back, pulling open the drawer to his left and grabbing his deodorant, giving a couple of swipes under each arm before putting it back in its spot. Han rolls his eyes, pointing at his son.

"You're on thin fucking ice, kid," he retorts, and Ben knows he doesn't really mean it. His father's always been a man of empty threats, always saying he's going to do something in the heat of the moment but never coming through with it. Not when it comes to his son, at least. As if on cue, his face softens and he lowers his hand, his arms crossing themselves over his chest. "You hungry? I can make you something before you leave." Ben shakes his head, pushing himself away from the counter and standing there, trapped in the bathroom with both of his parents claiming space in the doorway. 

"I'm good, I'm just going to go down the road and grab something when I fill up the tank."

"Ben, let your father-"

"Jesus, Leia, he's a grown man. If he wants to eat gas station junk for breakfast, let him eat gas station junk." Han waves a hand dismissively and moves out of the doorway, heading towards the stairs. "It means more breakfast for us to eat, anyways." His heavy footsteps hit the wooden stairs as he heads down, presumably to start making breakfast for just the two of them. Probably sausage and eggs; Han Solo knows how to make enough dishes to survive off of, and he hadn't busted out the waffle maker since Ben was in high school, so when it comes down to it there's only a handful of choices. Leia watches after him with a sigh, rolling her eyes over to her son.

"If you get one of those energy drinks I've seen you chug, I'm going to be disappointed," she lectures him, patting him on his upper arm again before moving away from the doorway and towards the stairs herself. "They're bad for you, you know. They mess with your heart." He offers a non-committal hum in response as he flicks off the light in the bathroom, silently following after her as if he hadn't already been thinking about what flavor he's going to pick out when he gets there. He moves downstairs quickly, turning the corner of the staircase and heading for the front hall, bending down and digging through the multiple pairs of shoes to find his favorite sneakers. They're a pair of black high tops, blending in perfectly with the rest of his outfit, and he wanders back to the steps to sit down and pull them off. The sound of meat sizzling catches his attention, and he realizes that his dad must be cooking breakfast anyways. His stomach lets out a grumble that only he can hear and he curses it, finishing pulling the laces tight before he pushes himself to stand back up and he follows the scent that's starting to drift throughout the house.

Han's standing at the stove, stirring egg yolks in a bowl while bacon sizzles on the griddle next to the empty pan that's heating up. He's concentrated, careful not to spill anything on the wooden countertops - or worse, get any splatters on the white cabinets or walls. He's taught himself over the years how to be neat when he cooks if only to avoid another lecture from his wife. That's what he says, anyways; Ben knows that when it comes to cooking, his father's as bad about keeping things clean as Leia. The two are quite the pair, and everyone else in their life figured they'd be long separated by now, but they had defied the odds and still remained in love to this day. The only person who had ever had any faith in them was his uncle Luke, but he was the last to figure out that the two were even together in the first place. Apparently he would come over to Han's apartment to hang out and wouldn't question why his twin sister was already there at eight in the morning - he was just excited to spend the day with two of his favorite people. 

Before he can be stopped, Ben sneaks behind his father, quickly snatching a piece of bacon right off the griddle. He involuntarily makes a noise of distress as he accidentally grazes the hot surface, and Han turns around, glaring daggers at his son. But Ben Solo is as immune to being shamed as his father, so he holds eye contact as he tilts his head back, twirling the half-cooked strip of bacon around like a limp spaghetti noodle and dropping it halfway into his mouth, biting into it and chewing contentedly. Han's nose wrinkles and he gives his son a disgusted look.

"God, why can't you at least wait until it's cooked? You animal," he protests. turning back to pouring eggs into the skillet. Ben laughs and pats him on the shoulder, turning around to head into the garage and stopping in his tracks when he sees Leia sitting at the breakfast nook, an eyebrow raised as she stares at him.

"You'll get a tapeworm that way, you know," she says, and in answer he shoves the other half of the bacon strip into his mouth. She scoffs and rolls her eyes, muttering an annoyed "men" under her breath. Ben just smiles at her as he chews, pivoting and heading through the door into the garage. His car still has boxes sitting around it, just like how he left it the night before, and he pulls open the back door to start loading things in. His large hands grab the edges of the plastic storage boxes and he slides one across the connected seats, one after another after another. It's mindless work and it really doesn't take him as long as he thought it would. He reaches down for another box only to be met with blank air, and Ben blinks, looking at the floor in surprise to see that he'd already filled his car up with the rest of his belongings. Well, that was that apparently. Ben shuts the car door and stands there for a moment, dark eyes scanning around the garage, landing on his dad's beat up old piece of junk truck sitting on the far end. 

Han had been around his age when he had won the pickup in a poker game against one of his friends. Ben's Uncle Lando, in fact; he'd heard the story enough times to memorize the details like he had been there himself. It had already seen better days at that point, but after so many years even Ben wasn't sure why he still kept the thing. It was rusting in places, the original silver barely recognizable anymore, and he spent more time and money fixing it than driving. At this point, it would be cheaper to just buy a new truck, but if Han Solo was one thing it was stubborn. Not that long ago Ben had wanted the truck for himself. He'd spent too much of his childhood in that truck, being a copilot for his dad (and later trying to drive it himself, still much too young but insistent on doing it until Han had given in and taught him to drive out on the backroads) and making up his own adventures. But his parents both refused to let him have it (for different reasons; Han wanted it for himself while Leia didn't want to waste anymore time with it), and had instead bought him a sleek black SUV. It wasn't overly huge, but the RAV4 was big enough for all of his stuff - and his roommates, for their late night snack runs late after the dining hall had closed.

He runs his hands through his hair, tugging gently at the ends as he heaves out a sigh. That hadn't taken him as long as he had anticipated it taking, so instead he turns and walks back through the door into the house. Han's left his station at the stove and is sitting in the breakfast nook across from his wife, shoveling fluffy yellow eggs onto his fork. The two look up at him as he closes the door behind him, eyebrows raised.

"You all packed?" his dad asks, stuffing the fork into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. Ben nods, hands stuffing into the front pocket of his jeans, and he takes a look around. The three of them are quiet, waiting for someone else to break the silence, until Ben can't take it anymore and he wanders away for a moment to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge. 

"Yeah, I'm uh... I'm about to head out," he says, twisting the cap off and taking a long swig. When did he get thirsty? He takes another one, savoring how cold it is going down his throat. His parents frown at him and exchange a glance, and his dad clears his throat as Leia speaks up.

"Are you sure? It's still early, Ben, why don't you just sit and-"

"I told you already, I'm fine." His tone is harsher than he intends for it to be, and he drops his gaze to his shoes for a moment and takes a few deep breaths. "I mean I just... I have to, you know, beat traffic. And if I don't get there before Poe and Hux they're going to spread their shit - sorry, _stuff_ ," he corrects himself at his mother's disapproving look. "- around the place. I just want to get settled before they get there." There's silence again and he just nods, hoping they'll say something. Leia and Han look at each other again before sighing, and Leia pushes herself out of her seat to walk over and wrap her arms around him.

"Come on, we'll see you off," she says softly, giving him a smile. Ben can't help but smile back and bends to kiss the top of her head gently, ruffling her hair. She huffs and swats his hand away, moving to straighten her hair again as she heads towards the garage door. His father finally gets up from his seat and claps him on the shoulder as he passes him, grabbing Ben's keys from their assigned hook by the garage door. Leia was insistent on having them hung up when they would continuously be late because of missing keys, and while the two men wouldn't admit it and still grumbled about the damn hooks under their breath, Ben had to admit that it made his mornings easier when there was an assigned place for them to be kept. If either of his roommates would be game for it, it would be Hux; the ginger man thrived on order and neatness. Poe, on the other hand... his entire brand was chaos. His room was never cleaned, he always seemed to have some kind of stain on his clothes, and his car was a piece of junk too - Not like his dad's truck, but still practically falling apart.

Ben follows his parents out of the house, double patting his jean pockets to make sure he has everything. Charger, wallet, headphones, phone. He's got it all and that's the last thing he can think to do. It's not that he doesn't want to leave, because he knows he'll be back sooner rather than later. It's just a matter of actually _leaving_. He wills himself not to get emotional, because if he does that will just set off his mother's tears and he can't handle it right now. So he steels himself and pulls the door shut behind him, pressing the button to open the garage door. It begins to pull up overhead, mechanics whirring, and Leia waits by the driver's side door as he walks around the back. 

"You promise me right now that you'll call when you get to the room," she insists, hand blocking the door handle. Ben smiles and nods. 

"Yes ma'am," he says easily in response, and he makes a mental note not to forget, because when he makes a promise to his mother she holds him to it. He's afraid of what the consequences would be for this situation. She watches him, eyes narrowed for a moment as if trying to become a human lie detector. 

"Leia, let him go," Han sighs from the other side of the car, hands resting up on the black hood as he watches them. Ben shoots his father a thankful glance as his mom relents, moving her hand away from the car. 

"Please don't text and drive," she begs him, crossing her arms as Ben opens the door to get in. "And don't forget to use your turn signal. People are tired when they're driving this early, they're not thinking right so they're not going to be driving the best." Han snorts, knocking his knuckles against the passenger door window for him to roll down. Ben sticks the key into the ignition and turns it, his car coming quietly to life and he rolls down both front windows, looking over at his dad. 

"What your mom said. And I swear to God, kid, if you don't call her later, _I'm_ going to be the one never hearing the end of it until you come back. So make sure that's the first thing you do." Han gives him a look, ignoring the daggers his wife is shooting at him from the opposite window, and Leia reaches in to rest her hand on Ben's arm. It steals his attention and he looks down at it before turning his gaze towards her. 

"What he _means_ is that we love you, and we're going to miss you," she tells him, trying to play off the few tears brewing in her eyes. Ben cracks a smile at her, covering her hand with his much larger one as he gives it a loving pat. 

"I love you too," he says, and that seems to be enough for Leia. She steps away, and he hears Han slap his hands on the doorframe before giving him space to pull out. Ben looks between them and nods, not bothering to roll up the windows yet. He switches on the radio as he pulls out of the garage, the sky finally hinting at turning an orangey yellow. He flicks on his headlights as he rolls down the concrete driveway. Sunrise is just around the corner, and he still has to stop for gas and get breakfast, so if he wants to make it on time he needs to get a move on. As he turns out of the driveway and onto the neighborhood street, he rolls up his windows and flicks on the radio, letting the soft hum of some pop artist he doesn't know keep him awake for now. He's got a lot of driving to do and he's impatient to get there.

**Author's Note:**

> So... brand new idea. Wanted to run with it while I had it instead of putting it on the back burner. Please keep in mind that the rating is subject to change because I don't trust myself. You can catch up with me on my social media ([twitter](https://twitter.com/sugarquillstory), [tumblr](https://sugarquillstory.tumblr.com/), and [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/sugarquillstory/)), feel free to follow and yell at me about your ships and what you're enjoying in my story so far. See you all in the next chapter!


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